Daddy's Girl

I have a new-found respect for my father. These past couple of days, I've doing all but tearing my hair out about mom's crazy-high stress level, the fact that she's asked me to be in Belleville four out of seven days of the week, and that I've had a constant migraine since...well...Saturday. And of all people....Dad has been the sane, calm one. He calmed me down and let me vent about mom, he talked to her about everything, and then he calmly told me what mom FLEW off the handle about. You see, I have this automatic wall -- it tends to appear when people start acting/reacting irrationally when it's very plausible for them to answer normally, but they choose not to because they can't control their own tempers. So it appeared to the 'nth degree when mom flipped about me not wanting to be up in Belleville so much and how I don't really understand the point, especially if Grandma is going to be in assisted living. Which I still don't understand the point. I'm more than willing to go up there once a week for a couple of days or a night or something, but Monday through Thursday, in the middle of a show, almost four hours away from where I live, PLUS starting CNA training -- it's making my head spin. She told me if I don't do the Grandma thing, I need to support myself (car insurance, food, gas, lessons, etc.) which I try to understand...**key word: try**...and I would be fine doing that, but she makes it sound like the family is going to disown me if I choose that path. So I'm stuck between a rock and hard place, and either path I choose I'm pretty much screwed. C'est la vie.
I came back to Lawrence today....oh goodness, it was AMAZING to be back. Back in the swing of things, with my ridiculous friends. I have a lesson tomorrow that I'm completely not looking forward to. I was supposed to have one of my songs memorized last Monday, but I was in Salina and didn't go to a lesson and was at the hospital (when I wasn't sleeping), so I didn't even LOOK at my music. Bahhh.....kill me now.
Anyways, that's pretty much it for now....I'm going to bed. Ah, the sounds of the dorm on a Thursday night -- beer pong, drunkenness, and people being thrown into walls. Gotta love it.