What the hell.

Okay. So. I need some stability somewhere in my life right now. This whole living between Wichita and Salina thing is NOT working out because now I'm starting to cry over stupid little things....hmm...I was reading about the Orangutan that turned 50 years old at the Phoenix zoo and I cried. What the hell. I cried over a cute couple from my studio going to prom together...cuuuute...but not tears worthy..however..I balled like a baby. WHAT THE HELL. I want to live in one place. I do NOT want to be driving all over HELL AND GONE anymore. Maybe that works for my mom, but it's NOT working for me. Nor my car. It's starting to rebel against me. Oh...and I'm starting to not want to go to school because I don't want to DRIVE....again, I say, WHAT THE HELL.

Why Didn't God Make Me Gay?

I asked myself that question the other day as I drooled over Adam Lambert's new music video for the song FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT. But then again, if I were gay my life would be even MORE complicated than it already is and honestly, I'm not sure if I could handle the craziness.
Speaking of craziness, I had my first Saturday on the floor. I did a manicure and a pedicure and a hair cut. I kind of rocked the hair cut....of course. The mani and the pedi were easy peasy.
I've noticed...through trial and error and the fault of mine that I need stability. I've always thought of myself as kind of a free spirit, but lately...as I've grown up and kind of figured out who I am, I've noticed that the lack of stability...of consistancy...of a plan...has a profound effect on me physically and psychologically. I get physically sick to my stomach and sweaty and nervous when I am unsure of where I stand in a particular situation. I get extremely irritable and depressed and cry when something doesn't go according to plan. It's really kind of a hinderance to me, personally, because I've always kind of catered to my friends and made them a priority but I'm noticing that it's time I'M a priority. I need to do me before I can do them, and if they want me to put them on a pedestal, it's about damn time they do the same for me and go out of THEIR way to help me out. I'm just sick of being walked all over, I suppose.
But I can blog about it all I want, it won't change a damn thing. I need to get assertive and tell people what I think and how I want things to be...I'm terrible at that unless it's someone I know will be there unconditionally. I guess I'm ultimately very scared of losing people or ending relationships because of my own seemingly petty wants or needs. You know? Maybe that sounds stupid, but...I cater to people so that they will develop a sort of need for me. So that without me, they're somewhat lost. Manipulation of my relationships with people to keep them in the positive is sort of a talent. A talent that is taking a serious toll on my insecurity. I just don't think it's worth it anymore. Who knows. I'm done ranting now.

Quick & Easy...like my eggs.

I hate mornings.
I have a strange need for breakfast food...at...breakfast. A novel idea.
I think I may be falling in some serious like, but don't tell anyone.
Keys get lost so that God can have a quick chuckle in the morning.
I would rather be in Denver playing with my new, beautiful, Haitian cousins...and of COURSE be able to see Kim & Pat with my own eyes.
EFA is taking over my life...and I'm comfortable with that.

LOVE LOVE.

"Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important."

Some Men Can't Handle the Regalness of an Up-Do!

^^^^^^ The first one (the dark brown one) was the one that won 3rd place...took me about an hour (mostly because I had planned in my mind didn't work out the way I wanted so I had to tweak it...grrr). The second one (the light brown one) got 1st place...took me about 30 minutes (and I was madly in love with it.)

So. I'm a beast. We did up-do's today...and I was amazing. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but beep...beep. We had an up-do challenge and we had to do an up-do and have it judged by the entire school, students && faculty. They voted on ballots and then our teacher counted them and told us who won. Some of us entered two, because we had the time and we wanted to, so there ended up being 12 mannequins being judged (there's only 7 in our class). I got 1st place AND 3rd place :)) Thought I'd post some pics. I'm thinking of putting up a website and advertising myself for weddings and prom for cheap, cheaper than would be in a real salon and I'd come to them, instead of them having to go somewhere else...good idea? Feedback is always welcome :))

Little Ol' Ladies Betta Not See Me!!

^^^The brunettes:: (L-R) Meagan:Perla:Dajana:Kendra:Me

Perms suck. Or...do they blow? I've never understood the difference because they essentially mean the same thing, but either way perms are TERRIBLE. It's like, God decided to give hairdressers a taste of what the apocalypse will feel like, so in 1909 He invented perms. To fuck with us. Because that's the only plausible answer I can come up with as to WHY anyone would want one OR want to do one. They're ridiculously unhealthy for your hair...and if you have any previous color, you can just FORGET about a perm. Not to mention, they're the most tedious, time consuming things EVER CREATED. All of us (especially Kendra) almost shot our mannequins. Megan seemed to like it, so we've decided that when we go on the floor in February, if we have a perm and Megan doesn't have a full day, we're giving it to her. Hands down. I was cursing at that head more than I've ever cursed any inanimate object in my LIFE. There were things said that shouldn't be repeated. Even though our teacher (whose name is Melissa Meyer, btw) said it will be easier on actual people, I don't want to risk it. I have a mouth. And my face tells EVERYTHING. So that...will be interesting, to say the least.

Oh...so...before the Perm disaster day happened, we did shampooing and blowdrying. WELL. At this point, we've learned the correct way to shampoo, blowdry and straight iron hair. We'd just had a demo by Eric Fisher (I go to Eric Fisher Academy....) and he was talking all about how we need to focus on learning the correct way, and THEN we can deviate later after we're completely comfortable. So..instead of shampooing on our mannequins, we decided to shampoo each other. So we drew names out of a hat and I got Dajana. So she shampooed me, took me in the room, and started to blowdry. Now, she didn't section my hair correctly nor did she use the right brush for how short my hair is. When I asked her why (very politely, despite my grumpy mood), she said "This is the way I wanna do it" ------ .....okay. So I said nothing else, and when she "finished", I knew my hair wasn't dry. It was starting to curl up and it was visibly still damp. I was like 'Okay, okay...she's bound to put her hands in my hair and notice it's still wet' ---- NOPE. She picks up the 400 degree flat iron and proceeds to try to put it on my head. I FLIPPED a shit, jumped out of the chair and was like "If you put that straight iron on my hair, I swear to God I'll take it to your face." --- (I felt pretty bad after saying this, but the situation was a little...scary. I don't have that much hair anyway, and if she burned it off, I woulda killed her). So my teacher comes over and is like "what's wrong" so I told her, and she was like "holy crap" so she finished my hair herself.

Dajana is one of those girls...who is....really nice, but pretentious. She thinks she's right NO MATTER WHAT. She second guesses everything all the time, she's blatantly rude without necessarily trying to be, and she tells the longest, most drawn-out stories that pertain to NOTHING whatsoever..all the time. It's....ridiculous. *sigh* Oh well..c'est la vie.

I still love my school, regardless.

Four(ish) Words:

I. Love. My. School.





FIN.

.........

MAKEUP

I LOOKED LIKE AN 80'S POP PRINCESS!


and now I'm very sleepy....I feel old. Going to bed at 10:30 on a Friday night. What has become of my 20 year old existence. Oh yeah...........getting up at 5am every day will do that, I suppose. FML

Lurve Lurve.