Teaching Nurses

So I have this theory. A theory that has been cultivated and nursed through many years of watching my mother deal with these new nurses straight out of school who have their BSNs or RNs but have virtually no idea what they’re doing in an actual health care setting. It’s my understanding that a BSN is a Bachelors of Science in Nursing. That means (at least, at the University of Kansas) that a person is to go two years of undergrad and then two years of ‘nursing school’. I have a need to put apostrophes around that phrase because I find it to be sort of a joke. I understand that the nursing students go through a series of clinical, but that doesn’t prepare them for the actual workforce…dealing with administration and such.
Anyways…my theory…
I would like to conduct a study of sorts. I’d like to take two future nursing students (student A & student B) and put them in two different situations. Student A will go to a regular university program, do her two years of undergrad and two years of nursing school. Student B, however, will do ONE year of undergrad (most classes geared towards nursing) and then spend the next three years doing a sort of “residency”, shadowing a seasoned nurse and learning on the job. Then, after the four years, I’d like for them each to go work for a week with a completely new staff of nurses. They’d work different weeks, of course, a week each. And at the end of the two week period, have that staff evaluate the nurses and determine which one was more prepared, if either, for the work force.
Mind you, there are variations of this idea possible:
A) The full four years in the work force.
B) Two years undergrad, two years work force.
C) Three years undergrad, one year work force.
The nurses teaching would have to be certified – most likely through something like a six-week course in instruction – and would be paid more for taking on a student. The student would also be paid. It would resemble the residency program doctors must go through when they get out of medical school, making minimum (something like $15-$20/hr) and learning all the while.
But this program wouldn’t only benefit the people wanting to be nurses, but it would benefit the nurses who only have their diploma. They could skip the undergrad part and shadow a nurse for a year and a half or so, depending on their experience (determined by a placement test) and, upon evaluation, could receive their BSN without having to skip work for school and being able to make a living as well. Obviously, asking a registered nurse to go from making $30/hr to $15/hr is very unrealistic (due to the economy) so they’d be able to keep their own job and do the shadowing as well, as most of it would be shift work anyway. Three days a week at their job, three days a week at the training…mostly just schedule juggling for the person.
Just an idea. Any thoughts? Maybe I’m way off base…

Happiness maybe?

As a preface: I'm only writing this as a rant. Not preaching, not being dramatic, but I started writing during class and this is what spewed out.


Somewhere, maybe parallel to this world, is a beautiful place where promises are kept, expectations don't exist, broken hearts are not as painful, and people actually have faith in other people. But that world seems to only exist in movies and the imaginations of writers, painters, and musicians. Our dreams hold more of what we truthfully want. Everyone needs to trust their subconscious, their "gut", so to speak. The fear of judgment is so great, so fierce, that almost no one is who they really want to be. But maybe we, as a whole, are not meant to be completely happy. Maybe we will always be searching for something better, something more fulfilling. It's almost sad to think about, though, because the idea that we'll always be striving in vain is morbid, to say the least. I think the greatest challenge anyone will ever face is to be happy and content with themselves. It's obviously much more difficult for some people, for personal reasons as well as societal standards.
"You must go to college."
"You must make a lot of money"
"You must get married."
Yada, yada, yada...
If I could count the times I've been "directed" to do something because it's what I "must" do to be "successful", I'd be here until I'm twenty five. We dont' have time to be frantic or in a rush. I know, that seems contradictory. "If you don't have time, get it done NOW!" But...if that were the case, I'd be an almost-junior in college probably studying something that will result in a career I'll end up hating by the time I'm forty. Given, a lot of people know exactly what they want to do, WILL graduate college on time, and will work and enjoy the same career for the better part of almost fifty years. Great, awesome, I'm jealous. But that's not the only option....life is short, yes, but if it's not enjoyable because of your high stress levels not only will you shorten your life, but it's just as much a waste of time as watching FOX News - you'll get nothing out of it! My best friend just started Cosmetology school in April and I'm so proud of her...she left college because she wasn't happy and wanted to do what she was born to do and I couldn't love her more. I, like her, know what it's like to say "I left college" and get those looks like "Failure, failure, failure..." but...we're not failures. We just know that when we're not happy, something needs to change. I'm not saying we're perfect, or that everyone should drop out, but it takes some courage to do that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm thankful someone gave me an 'out' - let me know that it's okay to take my time, find out where my life is going, and enjoy being and discovering who I am. I'm not trying to say I know what I'm doing because I don't. No clue. My life is up in the air. But I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being somewhat of a mess because at some point it'll all come back down to earth and everything will be as it should.
Maybe in that separate universe, everyone can enjoy themselves without fear. But in the chaotic lives we lead, it seems almost impossible...but here's to dreaming.

"You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." - John Lennon

Surgeon in Training? Maybe

Sorry for the long pause between posts, I've been lacking inspiration for anything to write about. But here I am, working on a worksheet about Preventing Infection. It's not for any credit, but my course teacher (CJ is her name) told us we should do it because Chapter 13 is kind of tough and lots of people's grades suffer with it. So I decided 'what the hell'. I did learn a new term though - medical asepsis: the practices used to remove or destroy pathogens and to prevent their spread from one person or place to another person or place. IN-TER-ES-TING. Annnnd we've been talking about AD (Alzheimer's Disease) all week, since most CNA's will end up in LTC facilities, and we learned the difference between Dementia and Pseudodementia. Pseudodementia presents like dementia, but it can be reversed because it's only caused by depression...usually occurs in older people suffering from a chronic illness. It might very well explain why Grandma gets confused and anxious sometimes. She's cooped up in that damned apartment...but I hear she's getting out and has gone back to PEO, so I'm sure her mind will be as sharp as ever soon enough. It's amazing how that woman recovers from everything. Watch her pass away of something common - like old age. I love her so much. Anyways, regardless, CNA training is going really well. I'm sooo excited to work in this field! I took some random career placement test online, to tell you what you'd be good at, and it said that my attention to detail lands me in two categories: medicine or art. (Insert 'WTF' look here) --- So I'm seriously thinking about taking this year to work in a hospital, see how much I like it, then go to JCCC (Johnson County Community College) and get my associates in Biology, then go back to KU and get a BA in English, take another year and work (maybe at Christ House? very much a possibility), and then apply to med school. I know, that's a lot of work, but I'm so freakin interested in this CNA class it's out of control. I just want to keep learning. I'm taking a Med Aide course next so I can administer drugs, which will be AWESOME. I come home and look up stuff I learned in class just to know more about it. WebMD has become my new best friend. Did you know Ovarian cancer is almost NEVER caught before Stage III?? You'd think technology would have moved up so we could detect things like that, but by the time it gets to Stage III it's a death sentence. So, so sad.
Apart from my crazy obsession with medicine at the moment, I've also met a new person. His name is David. He's an illustration major at KU, wildly talented, fantastically cute, and quite possibly the most honest person I've ever met. He's got this crazy dry sense of humor and a twinkle in his eye. He asked me on a date, so we're going to the movies on Friday...excitement major. I'll write and tell how it went.
Mama and Papa are still in VA....you know, chillin out and seeing EVERY family member they can. I swear they've been to Aunt Dor & Uncle Bill's fifteen times. It's fantastic. :) I miss them, though, strangely enough.
Anyways, I must be off to finish this packet...

FYI

I'd just like to state that when I fall in love, I want a love like Bella and Edward's from TWILIGHT. Passionate, unconditional, and hopelessly beautiful.

Girl Wonders

Girl has realized something. Maybe the reason Boy left her was not because he needed "time", as he so clearly explained, but because Girl didn't make him a priority. Whether it be out of fear or just pure stupidity, she never just buckled down and focused on him, even though she knew damn well that's what he needed. Boy was going to pick up his life and move to where Girl was, and Girl didn't even try to fight him about it. She just assumed he would always be there. Boy realized that his life needs to be important too, and Girl didn't want to admit that her entire life revolved around him. Reflectively, Girl realizes she should have at least *offered* to move to where he was so his life was equally, if not more, important....to show him that he really was the center of her life, as she had been his. Now, Boy has found someone who worships his every move. Girl supposes she should be happy for him, but that's really hard.

Girl Meets Boy

Let me preface this with a story:

Girl and Boy meet online. Boy is hopelessly witty, charming, and honest and creates a very strong bond with Girl almost instantly. Boy is in a relationship, though, so Girl stays neutral and in the "friend zone", although Girl realizes that she's falling for Boy rather quickly -- however, Girl understands and accepts that Boy is in a committed relationship. She never asks him to leave her or even think about it. She is nothing but supportive. This friendship, dripping with tension, goes on for the better part of three years. One day, Boy calls Girl to inform her that the a fore-mentioned girlfriend has left him for some strange man into Dom/Sub sexual crap in Chicago. He is mildly devastated (p.s. Boy has been with a fore-mentioned girlfriend for the better part of five years, so it's understandable). Girl doesn't really know how to react so she is supportive, as always, and lets him vent and talk as much as he needs. Throughout all of this conversation, Boy realizes that he's madly in love with Girl so he tells her. She, of course, feels the same way (even though she's known for a lot longer than he) and they start making plans for the future - he asks her to marry him, she says yes, etc etc etc. Then one day, out of the blue, Girl comes home from a family reunion to Boy telling her that his life is in disarray, he needs to fix it himself, and it's over between them. All in the matter of two seconds, her entire life came crashing down in front of her. Boy then proceeds to call her repeatedly, unsure of his decision, but then ends up cutting all contact. Girl is....to put it nicely....completely, hopelessly, and ravagingly heartbroken. It's hard for her to breath, let alone survive, without him. She goes into a deep depression, etc etc etc....(....you can fill in all the blanks, it's pretty clear she went to Hell and back).

Now, what I don't understand is the thought process behind Boy's decision. Not more than three months after, he is in a committed relationship with an 18 year old from New Hampshire, by the way. I don't understand why he didn't just tell Girl that he wasn't in love with her. And even if he WERE still in love with her and she was just doing something that he found disrespectful or grounds for breaking up, why didin't he just TALK to her about it? What I don't understand is how a person can go from being completely and incandescently in love with someone, ready to marry them tomorrow and produce beautiful children, to just walking away from that....how does someone just WALK AWAY from their feelings? I don't think I'll ever be able to understand how it is that people ignore their gut/heart and do what they 'think' is right. But when you love someone, right and wrong should just be chucked out the window and you should do what you FEEL. If you love someone, you just love them....no questions asked, unconditionally, and if you love them enough to MARRY them, you should be willing to work through anything, no matter the obstacle. It's almost like Boy got tired of trying, even though Girl was trying just as hard. And maybe Boy didn't love Girl as much as he said he did, although the e-mails and phone conversations would prove otherwise. I'd like to believe that Boy really did love Girl as passionately as it seemed and he just got....scared. Scared that he was going to bring Girl down, that he wasn't enough for her (as he'd previously stated in earlier conversations....which is where I'm deriving my theory). I'd LIKE to believe that.

It's almost a year later and Girl is still completely torn up about losing Boy. Why is this? Why can't she let go, understand he's with someone else, wish him well, and go on with her life? Oh it's Heartbreak, understandable, but heartbreak isn't exactly uncommon, right? So why is it every time Girl thinks about Boy her entire body crumbles and she wants to curl up in a ball and cry out of pure frustration and hurt that she can't be with the one man who fits the puzzle of her crazy life. So when Girl grabs a box of Kleenex, cookie dough, a sad movie, and curls up on her couch to cry herself into oblivion, God must be up there laughing at her pain. As she wonders how her life fell apart, He is chuckling with the strings.

You see, I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that Boy left Girl for a reason -- maybe to show that she, too, can survive heartbreak of the utmost level. (interjection: I do believe that heartbreak is the single most painful thing an individual can go through...survive that, you can survive anything) So maybe Girl still loves Boy for a reason. Maybe it's not quite over between them. Maybe the saga hasn't ended, it's just been delayed. I hope that Girl can either A) win him back with her undying persistence, or B) deal with it, move on, and stop trying to understand.

Here's to hopin' for Girl...her broken heart needs some serious duct tape.

Behind the Mask

It's been quite a while since I've written personally...my poetry has kind of taken over my blog! Silly girl, poetry is for emo kids. :) Not much is super new....I start CNA training on the 20th and I am really excited, but a wee bit nervous to be doing it all on my own. Mom got a new job in Virginia, so she and Dad (and the dog) leave Friday for three months. Crazy! I'll probably have to get my wisdom teeth out sometime in June or early July. Sick. Not excited. I met a new guy, but I'm not saying a word about it yet, so don't even ask.

That's pretty much it for now, I'm on my way to the movies with the afore-mentioned guy. So....goodnight! I'll write later.