Friday, May 22, 2009
FYI
I'd just like to state that when I fall in love, I want a love like Bella and Edward's from TWILIGHT. Passionate, unconditional, and hopelessly beautiful.
Girl Wonders
Girl has realized something. Maybe the reason Boy left her was not because he needed "time", as he so clearly explained, but because Girl didn't make him a priority. Whether it be out of fear or just pure stupidity, she never just buckled down and focused on him, even though she knew damn well that's what he needed. Boy was going to pick up his life and move to where Girl was, and Girl didn't even try to fight him about it. She just assumed he would always be there. Boy realized that his life needs to be important too, and Girl didn't want to admit that her entire life revolved around him. Reflectively, Girl realizes she should have at least *offered* to move to where he was so his life was equally, if not more, important....to show him that he really was the center of her life, as she had been his. Now, Boy has found someone who worships his every move. Girl supposes she should be happy for him, but that's really hard.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Girl Meets Boy
Let me preface this with a story:
Girl and Boy meet online. Boy is hopelessly witty, charming, and honest and creates a very strong bond with Girl almost instantly. Boy is in a relationship, though, so Girl stays neutral and in the "friend zone", although Girl realizes that she's falling for Boy rather quickly -- however, Girl understands and accepts that Boy is in a committed relationship. She never asks him to leave her or even think about it. She is nothing but supportive. This friendship, dripping with tension, goes on for the better part of three years. One day, Boy calls Girl to inform her that the a fore-mentioned girlfriend has left him for some strange man into Dom/Sub sexual crap in Chicago. He is mildly devastated (p.s. Boy has been with a fore-mentioned girlfriend for the better part of five years, so it's understandable). Girl doesn't really know how to react so she is supportive, as always, and lets him vent and talk as much as he needs. Throughout all of this conversation, Boy realizes that he's madly in love with Girl so he tells her. She, of course, feels the same way (even though she's known for a lot longer than he) and they start making plans for the future - he asks her to marry him, she says yes, etc etc etc. Then one day, out of the blue, Girl comes home from a family reunion to Boy telling her that his life is in disarray, he needs to fix it himself, and it's over between them. All in the matter of two seconds, her entire life came crashing down in front of her. Boy then proceeds to call her repeatedly, unsure of his decision, but then ends up cutting all contact. Girl is....to put it nicely....completely, hopelessly, and ravagingly heartbroken. It's hard for her to breath, let alone survive, without him. She goes into a deep depression, etc etc etc....(....you can fill in all the blanks, it's pretty clear she went to Hell and back).
Now, what I don't understand is the thought process behind Boy's decision. Not more than three months after, he is in a committed relationship with an 18 year old from New Hampshire, by the way. I don't understand why he didn't just tell Girl that he wasn't in love with her. And even if he WERE still in love with her and she was just doing something that he found disrespectful or grounds for breaking up, why didin't he just TALK to her about it? What I don't understand is how a person can go from being completely and incandescently in love with someone, ready to marry them tomorrow and produce beautiful children, to just walking away from that....how does someone just WALK AWAY from their feelings? I don't think I'll ever be able to understand how it is that people ignore their gut/heart and do what they 'think' is right. But when you love someone, right and wrong should just be chucked out the window and you should do what you FEEL. If you love someone, you just love them....no questions asked, unconditionally, and if you love them enough to MARRY them, you should be willing to work through anything, no matter the obstacle. It's almost like Boy got tired of trying, even though Girl was trying just as hard. And maybe Boy didn't love Girl as much as he said he did, although the e-mails and phone conversations would prove otherwise. I'd like to believe that Boy really did love Girl as passionately as it seemed and he just got....scared. Scared that he was going to bring Girl down, that he wasn't enough for her (as he'd previously stated in earlier conversations....which is where I'm deriving my theory). I'd LIKE to believe that.
It's almost a year later and Girl is still completely torn up about losing Boy. Why is this? Why can't she let go, understand he's with someone else, wish him well, and go on with her life? Oh it's Heartbreak, understandable, but heartbreak isn't exactly uncommon, right? So why is it every time Girl thinks about Boy her entire body crumbles and she wants to curl up in a ball and cry out of pure frustration and hurt that she can't be with the one man who fits the puzzle of her crazy life. So when Girl grabs a box of Kleenex, cookie dough, a sad movie, and curls up on her couch to cry herself into oblivion, God must be up there laughing at her pain. As she wonders how her life fell apart, He is chuckling with the strings.
You see, I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that Boy left Girl for a reason -- maybe to show that she, too, can survive heartbreak of the utmost level. (interjection: I do believe that heartbreak is the single most painful thing an individual can go through...survive that, you can survive anything) So maybe Girl still loves Boy for a reason. Maybe it's not quite over between them. Maybe the saga hasn't ended, it's just been delayed. I hope that Girl can either A) win him back with her undying persistence, or B) deal with it, move on, and stop trying to understand.
Here's to hopin' for Girl...her broken heart needs some serious duct tape.
Girl and Boy meet online. Boy is hopelessly witty, charming, and honest and creates a very strong bond with Girl almost instantly. Boy is in a relationship, though, so Girl stays neutral and in the "friend zone", although Girl realizes that she's falling for Boy rather quickly -- however, Girl understands and accepts that Boy is in a committed relationship. She never asks him to leave her or even think about it. She is nothing but supportive. This friendship, dripping with tension, goes on for the better part of three years. One day, Boy calls Girl to inform her that the a fore-mentioned girlfriend has left him for some strange man into Dom/Sub sexual crap in Chicago. He is mildly devastated (p.s. Boy has been with a fore-mentioned girlfriend for the better part of five years, so it's understandable). Girl doesn't really know how to react so she is supportive, as always, and lets him vent and talk as much as he needs. Throughout all of this conversation, Boy realizes that he's madly in love with Girl so he tells her. She, of course, feels the same way (even though she's known for a lot longer than he) and they start making plans for the future - he asks her to marry him, she says yes, etc etc etc. Then one day, out of the blue, Girl comes home from a family reunion to Boy telling her that his life is in disarray, he needs to fix it himself, and it's over between them. All in the matter of two seconds, her entire life came crashing down in front of her. Boy then proceeds to call her repeatedly, unsure of his decision, but then ends up cutting all contact. Girl is....to put it nicely....completely, hopelessly, and ravagingly heartbroken. It's hard for her to breath, let alone survive, without him. She goes into a deep depression, etc etc etc....(....you can fill in all the blanks, it's pretty clear she went to Hell and back).
Now, what I don't understand is the thought process behind Boy's decision. Not more than three months after, he is in a committed relationship with an 18 year old from New Hampshire, by the way. I don't understand why he didn't just tell Girl that he wasn't in love with her. And even if he WERE still in love with her and she was just doing something that he found disrespectful or grounds for breaking up, why didin't he just TALK to her about it? What I don't understand is how a person can go from being completely and incandescently in love with someone, ready to marry them tomorrow and produce beautiful children, to just walking away from that....how does someone just WALK AWAY from their feelings? I don't think I'll ever be able to understand how it is that people ignore their gut/heart and do what they 'think' is right. But when you love someone, right and wrong should just be chucked out the window and you should do what you FEEL. If you love someone, you just love them....no questions asked, unconditionally, and if you love them enough to MARRY them, you should be willing to work through anything, no matter the obstacle. It's almost like Boy got tired of trying, even though Girl was trying just as hard. And maybe Boy didn't love Girl as much as he said he did, although the e-mails and phone conversations would prove otherwise. I'd like to believe that Boy really did love Girl as passionately as it seemed and he just got....scared. Scared that he was going to bring Girl down, that he wasn't enough for her (as he'd previously stated in earlier conversations....which is where I'm deriving my theory). I'd LIKE to believe that.
It's almost a year later and Girl is still completely torn up about losing Boy. Why is this? Why can't she let go, understand he's with someone else, wish him well, and go on with her life? Oh it's Heartbreak, understandable, but heartbreak isn't exactly uncommon, right? So why is it every time Girl thinks about Boy her entire body crumbles and she wants to curl up in a ball and cry out of pure frustration and hurt that she can't be with the one man who fits the puzzle of her crazy life. So when Girl grabs a box of Kleenex, cookie dough, a sad movie, and curls up on her couch to cry herself into oblivion, God must be up there laughing at her pain. As she wonders how her life fell apart, He is chuckling with the strings.
You see, I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that Boy left Girl for a reason -- maybe to show that she, too, can survive heartbreak of the utmost level. (interjection: I do believe that heartbreak is the single most painful thing an individual can go through...survive that, you can survive anything) So maybe Girl still loves Boy for a reason. Maybe it's not quite over between them. Maybe the saga hasn't ended, it's just been delayed. I hope that Girl can either A) win him back with her undying persistence, or B) deal with it, move on, and stop trying to understand.
Here's to hopin' for Girl...her broken heart needs some serious duct tape.
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